I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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