similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
