We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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