how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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