Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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