is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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