roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
