If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
