That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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