Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
