are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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