You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
