Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
