Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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