barbara walters just said penis...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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