I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Non-Jews are for practice
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
