I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
