so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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