im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
