I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
be right there i have to get my cape
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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