Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
