I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
