what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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