i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
