ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
