my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
