I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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