Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
