hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
