So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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