we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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