Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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