yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
