Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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