i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She's the barista slut.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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