Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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