I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
