when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
