i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
