I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish you could order shots online.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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