you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
