ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
