Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
