Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
