Will you blow on my dice?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
