I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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