Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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