I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
