lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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