I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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